Hey guys, sorry I haven't posted in a while. As I'm sure you've heard, Japan has been going through some tough times lately. I'll talk about that more in another post, but I want to share with you my first experience at a Japanese wedding.
One of my coworkers (she teaches Japanese) invited me to her wedding. I felt very honored because only 5 other teachers from our school were invited. In some ways, Japanese weddings are very similar to their American counterparts, but in other ways...they are still very Japanese.
If you attend a wedding, you are expected to give money in a special envelope. There are many styles of envelopes, and all are very beautiful. The only thing to look out for is the color. Funeral envelopes are black and white, but very similar, so it's important not to confuse the two. Generally, 30,000 yen is given by each person. (This is around $400). They need to be new, crisp bills. If you don't know the bride or groom well, 10,000 is ok to give. However you should never give an even number of bills, because even numbers can be divided evenly, and division is something to avoid at weddings. 40,000 is an especially bad amount, because in Japan, four means death. Japanese weddings are ridiculously expensive, so this gift helps offset the cost of the reception. Here is the envelope I chose. The character on top means "congratulations". I wrote my name on the bottom.
Most guests decide to wear a fancy dress to the reception, but I decided to wear a kimono. I rented one from a kimono shop, and a lady came to help me put it on. In all, it took about 30 minutes to put the entire thing on. The obi (belt) is really tight, almost like a corset. There are a lot of layers, making it really heavy and difficult to move around in (not to mention go to the bathroom!). The obi is simply a straight piece of fabric, and she made the back of it look like that with one of my hair ties. Incredible. You will see that my sleeves are really long, and go down past my knees. The kimono my other teacher is wearing has short sleeves. If you are unmarried, you wear a kimono with furisode (long sleeves), and once you get married, you need to wear one with short sleeves. When you are sitting down, it's important to always be conscious of your sleeves, especially if you are eating. Just as an idea, if I were to buy this kimono, it would cost around $10,000.
Do you see the pink part poking out of my sleeve to the left? The wind had blown it out of it's place. Luckily, in Japan, if you are wearing a kimono and anything if out of place, an old woman (o-baachan) will come out of nowhere and fix you. I'm pretty sure if you went outside with the obi (belt) slung over your shoulder, an baachan would swoop down and not let you go until it was properly tied. As my teacher and I were walking towards the hotel (in the background), two old women RAN up behind us and fixed both of us.
We got to the hotel, handed in our envelopes, and received the seating chart with our gift bags. In this case, the gift was a catalogue, and we could choose whatever we wanted from it. The bride, groom, and their parents were in a line at the reception entrance. One by one, guests bowed and congratulated them before entering. The bride was wearing a white dress with a huge white hat to hide her "horns of jealousy". (yeah, I don't know either.) Once seated, we were served a 7 course meal. Throughout the meal, the bride would change dresses. Overall, I think she had 5 different dresses. There was a contest where you guess the color of her next dress, and put your name in the corresponding box. (Her mother and grandma MADE the white traditional wedding dress!!!) Of course, there were speeches, and even a rendition of that song in Sister Act by her old high school friends. When it was time to "throw the bouquet", all the single ladies were called up to the stage by name. There were 8 of us, and 8 strings attached to the bouquet. Only one string was actually tied around the bouquet though, and the other 7 would fall off if pulled. We each chose a string and pulled. Mine didn't come off.
After the reception, the bride, groom, and parents once again lined up outside, and we congratulated them as we left. There was a second party which some people were invited to. This was a less formal time to talk with the bride and groom. It was mostly just friends with no family present. I had to leave before the party ended, but I had a great time and the reception was beautiful! I'm thinking of incorporating a few elements into my own wedding!
